Yesterday’s bad decisions.

Why do elephants never forget a meeting?

They also never forget who scheduled it.

Why did the snake refuse the group photo?

He said he was trying to stay low.

Why did the rabbit get a second job?

The first one did not multiply fast enough.

Why did the frog bring a notepad to the lily pad?

He was ready to jump to conclusions, but he wanted them written down.

Why did the crow collect shiny objects?

He called it a diversified portfolio.

Why did the shark avoid small talk?

He preferred a quiet circle.

Why won't the parrot sign an NDA?

He already knows everything and cannot stop repeating it.

Why did the owl get fired from night shift?

He kept asking who was responsible. Nobody liked the answer.

Why did the bee get written up?

Too much buzzing in meetings, not enough output.

Why did the sheep get promoted?

Management said he was a follower with leadership potential.

What do you get from a pampered cow?

Spoiled milk.

Why did the goose win the negotiation?

He honked until the other side left.

Why did the horse refuse the group chat?

Too many people saying nay.

Why don't cows ever finish an argument?

They keep going back to chew on it.

What do you call a pile of kittens?

A meowtain.

What time does a duck wake up?

At the quack of dawn.

Why did the chicken start a bank account?

She wanted a nest egg.

Why do fish swim in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze.

Why did the dog sit in the shade?

He didn’t want to be a hot dog.

Why did the horse avoid the digital wallet?

It still preferred stable currency.

Why did the sloth get employee of the month?

He was the only one still there at the end of the quarter.

What animal becomes an ox if you remove its first letter?

A fox.

What animal becomes a rabbi if you trim the end of its name?

A rabbit.

Why is a camel always ready for an argument?

It already has its back up.

Why does the dog help with laundry?

He specializes in removing socks from circulation.

What password does a bear use at a picnic?

Honey123. It refuses to make it stronger.

Why did the goat start a lawn service?

It already owned all the equipment it could eat.

Why did the cat reject the expensive bed?

The shipping box had better reviews.

Why did the Chihuahua get hired for security?

Nobody argues with a five-pound alarm system.

What animal falls from the clouds?

Rain, dear.

Which animal packed the most luggage for the ark?

The elephant. It brought its trunk.

Why is a Golden Retriever terrible at passwords?

Because every answer is treat123.

Why did the Golden Retriever stare at the calendar?

He was waiting for another fetchuary.

How do you know when a Husky is being quiet?

You wake up.

Why did the Husky get fired from customer service?

He answered every complaint with a longer complaint.

What is an orange cat business plan?

Step one: knock it over. Step two: look surprised.

Why did the parrot refuse to sign the NDA?

Repeating things is literally his business model.

Why did the chicken join a band?

Because it already had the drumsticks.

Why did the cat sit on the computer?

She wanted to keep an eye on the mouse.

Why did the dog bring a calculator to the park?

He wanted to figure out how many treats he was owed.