Why did the cat miss the project deadline?

What kind of cat spends all day in a library?

A cat-alogue.

Why would a cat make a terrible surgeon?

It keeps mew-tilating the patients.

Why does a cat inspect one side of the room and then the other?

Because checking both sides at once would be suspiciously efficient.

What does a cat have that no other animal can claim?

Its own kittens.

Why does the cat sit on the keyboard?

Because your deadline needed a supervisor.

Why did the cat refuse the diet plan?

It did not include a 3 a.m. snack audit.